I’ve had many of you asking me what to do about a Gemini man after a breakup. Breaking up with a Gemini man can feel devastating, I really sympathize with you and I am sorry you are going through this.
When a Gemini man wants to break up, there are several signs that may indicate his desire for the end of the relationship. These guys are pretty fickle, so it is good to know what to expect. So how does a Gemini man break up with you?
One of the signs that a Gemini man wants to break up is his sudden change in behaviour and communication patterns, but more on that later. When a Gemini man needs space, you might think that he is done with you, but this may not always be the case.
One of you just sent me an email saying “My Gemini man broke up with me. What can I do and is there a second chance we can still be together?” Don’t worry, I am here to help and give you some of the answers…
Keep on reading if you want to find out all the signs a Gemini man wants to break up.
4 Telltale Signs A Gemini Man Wants To Break Up With You:
When A Gemini Man Becomes Increasingly Distant
Many Gemini men require time and personal space. He will force it when he feels he isn’t getting it. Sometimes this can look like your Gemini man is pulling away from you or wants out of the relationship.
Be very careful! It doesn’t always mean he wants out. It could mean that you haven’t given him much space, so he’s taking it where he can. In such a case, you’ll need to ask him and thus try in the future to give him more space.
If he’s increasing his alone time in a short period of time, he may be starting to question if he wants to be in the relationship and if he’d rather be alone. There is also the possibility of his desire to be with someone or others instead.
A Gemini man is complicated, but one thing is for sure: if he starts taking more time for himself out of nowhere, something is going on. This is a red flag you should pay attention to, as it could mean a big change is coming.
This change could lead to a breakup or it could lead to him cheating, which would probably make you want to break it off with him. Either way, it’s not a good thing.
Related: What To Do When Gemini Man Ignores Your Text
He Is More Secretive Than Normal
This is also a cause for concern. If he seems to keep sneaking off into another room to make phone calls or going outside, you have to wonder why. Why can he not talk in front of you?
If he seems to hide his phone while looking at social networks while you’re sitting right next to him, what is he hiding? Gemini men are secretive, but when they go to extremes, something is going on.
Hiding it every now and then is a privacy thing. Once he starts hiding it all the time, something is amiss, and you need to call him on it. He will often try to hide the affair he may be having.
When it’s not an affair, it could be him talking to a friend or family member about something very private that he doesn’t want you to know about. They may be helping him decide if he should stay or go.
Of course, neither of those is reassuring to you because you don’t know what is going on. It’s a red flag that must be noted, as it could mean a breakup is afoot.
You may also want to read: 4 Reasons Why A Gemini Man Never Initiates Contact
Spends Less Time with You
This is a bit different than him taking personal time. This would be where he starts spending more time with friends, going out, or with family rather than with you. When you find that he’d rather be with others, something may be wrong.
He could just be taking a break to enjoy other facets of his life. Then again, he could be dodging you to make you upset enough to call it quits with him. He hates confrontation so he sometimes will stir stuff so that you’ll get mad and break it off.
When you can clearly see that he wants to spend time with other people and less time with you, he’s likely ready to be done with the relationship. Gemini typically WANTS to spend time with his lady unless he’s done.
Even if he is uncertain, he will still spend some time with you but an increase in being away from you occurs, he’s likely finished and just hasn’t bothered to say anything or be upfront.
Starts Being More Crabby or Moody
This is a guy that will increase his being pissy toward you if he’s finding that he’s ready to move on. Again, the idea here is to make you feel horrible about him and break it off.
He’d rather you do the ending than for him to have to step up and do it himself. He’d rather make everyone think that YOU called it off so that he doesn’t look bad to everyone.
Sadly this could cause him to say some really crass things toward you. He says these types of things when he’s in a “mood” but when you find this does increase and becomes a daily thing, something is definitely fishy with him.
Bad moods are acceptable until they become an all-time thing. This is yet another red flag to be aware of. Remember, always watch his actions. No matter what his words are, his actions are what is true.
A Gemini Man Needs Space — Does He Really Need Space Or Is He Done?
When a Gemini man wants to break up, one of the signs to expect is his need for space. A Gemini man may start pulling away and spending less time with you, his partner. This can be confusing because it may seem like he’s done with the relationship altogether.
However, it’s important to note that when a Gemini man needs space, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to break up. Gemini men are known for their need for independence and freedom, so when they feel overwhelmed or suffocated in a relationship, they may retreat and seek some time alone.
During this time, it’s crucial to give him the space he needs and avoid clinging or pressuring him. Just remember him wanting space isn’t necessarily about you and it may indicate that he is feeling overwhelmed or suffocated in the relationship and needs time to recharge and reflect.
It may not even be about the relationship, he might just be going through a lot professionally or with his family.
How Does A Gemini Man Break Up With You?
When a Gemini man wants to break up, there are several ways he may go about it. He may choose to do so indirectly by exhibiting certain behaviours and actions that indicate his intentions.
But, oftentimes, a Gemini man will actually out and out tell you that he doesn’t like where the relationship is and that he thinks it’s best to part ways. However, he will still continue to try to be friends, call, etc.
He takes so much time prolonging the breakup that it confuses the heck out of you. He’ll say he’s done, but then he’ll keep contacting you because he feels horrible for having hurt you.
The thing is, if he really did feel bad, he’d leave you be after breaking it off. His own confusion causes him to be back and forth, and this is where my clients write to me, wondering what is going on.
They will tell me that their Gemini man tells them that they don’t want to be in a relationship, but yet keeps coming back to them, trying to spend time with them, or keeps calling. The women are very out of sorts and uncertain about what to do.
Here’s how to tell when a Gemini man is done with you.
What To Expect From A Gemini Man After He Breaks Up
After a Gemini man breaks up with you, it is important to have realistic expectations about how he may behave. After a Gemini man breaks up with you, it is common for him to still maintain contact with you and try to be friends.
He may feel guilty for hurting you and will try to ease his own guilt by staying in touch. However, it is important to note that his intentions may not be genuine and he may just be using this as a way to keep you around without the commitment of a romantic relationship.
Additionally, a Gemini man hot and cold behavior is not unusual after he breaks up with you. He may continue to reach out and show interest one moment, only to completely withdraw and distance himself the next. This inconsistency in his behavior can be confusing and may make it difficult for you to fully move on from the relationship.
It is important to set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly to a Gemini man after the breakup. Let him know that you need space and time to heal and that maintaining contact may not be beneficial for your emotional well-being.
Will A Gemini Man Come Back After A Breakup?
All of the things I’ve mentioned in this article reveal that a Gemini can be very back and forth in relationships and breakups.
Another frustrating thing about Gemini is that he has a dual personality. One personality may be done with you and decide to break up with you. Then, when the other personality comes out, your Gemini may feel bad and want you back.
Be prepared, ladies; there is a possibility a Gemini man may rebound with you. This means he may try to get you back once he realizes what his darker side did. It’s almost as though he has a hero and a villain inside him.
If you find yourself in a position where you cannot refuse his proposal to get back together, be careful and don’t let it happen to you a second time. Watch for the signs, and don’t let him hurt you again.
Guard your heart and make him earn it back over time. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for being smashed into tiny bits once again, as though the first time wasn’t enough.
Here’s more on how to get a Gemini man back after things have ended.
A Gemini Man Left Me For Another Woman (How To Move Past The Pain)
The Gemini man will sometimes end things with his lady love if he wants to be able to plow another woman’s field. In other words, to ease his guilt about cheating, he’ll break it off, go have fun, and then try to come back to you.
Here’s more about Gemini man cheating signs.
You should be able to recognize this behavior and nip it in the bud. If he ever leaves and you know it’s to go to another woman, don’t let him come back unless, of course, you don’t mind him doing this to you.
There is a lot of mental turbulence that will happen if your Gemini man leaves you for another woman. The only proper way to heal appropriately is to let yourself go through the pain.
Have a good cry and let it last for days. Destroy the physical memories of the two lying around, like photo albums, picture frames, vacation memorabilia, etc. Do whatever you feel like doing, but do not compress the pain. Let it all out. The person you trusted with your life betrayed you, and it is okay to feel a crushing amount of pain. Doing so doesn’t make you weak.
FAQ On Breaking Up With A Gemini Man
How Does A Gemini Man Feel After A Breakup?
After a breakup, a Gemini man may experience a range of emotions. He may feel guilty for hurting you and may also feel confused about his own feelings.
Your Gemini man may also feel a sense of loss or sadness, especially if the relationship was meaningful to him. He might also feel relieved in knowing that the relationship is over and he doesn’t have to be tied down any longer.
Will A Gemini Regret Leaving You?
Whether or not a Gemini man will regret leaving you depends on the individual and the specific circumstances of the breakup. Some Gemini men may feel regret and realize the mistake they made in leaving you, especially if they start to miss the connection and intimacy that were present in the relationship.
However, it is important to note that Gemini men are known for their duality and can easily switch emotions. Therefore, it is possible that a Gemini man may initially regret leaving you but later change his mind or become indecisive about his feelings.
Do Geminis Come Back After A Breakup?
Geminis have a tendency to come back after a breakup, as they often struggle with decision-making and can be indecisive about their feelings. This can lead them to revisit past relationships or reach out to ex-partners in an attempt to reignite the connection.
However, it is important to remember that every Gemini is different and there is no guarantee that they will come back after a breakup.
2nd Chance With Gemini Man
Would you like to have the opportunity to ‘reset’ your relationship with a Gemini man?
What if you could start over, and turn the clock back to before things got – more complicated than they had to…?
Now while I can’t promise your love will work out (without analyzing your birth charts), you can certainly improve your chances – first, by understanding what happened.
Yes… You might even be able to rewrite your love story altogether… Usually, it’s a simple mistake that confused him or turned him away. Perhaps you’ve misunderstood each other.
This is normal – especially in relatively new relationships.
If you need some clarity and guidance on getting his attention and interest back on you… If you’re not sure how to approach him again (without being rejected), And if you’d like to put some practical, astrological tools & wisdom – working for you,
You’ll really like this:
The 3-Step Formula To Fix Your Relationship With A Gemini Man <<
I explain the exact 3 step process to win his attention, interest, and love back.
I hope it proves as valuable to you as it has to others seeking a Gemini man’s heart,.
Your friend & Relationship Astrologer,
Anna Kovach
P.S. Here’s a 2nd chance with a Gemini man.
I don’t want to believe it’s done. He’s told all these things. I want to believe he’ll come back. I really have no chance?
How did it go? Is it really over? I’m in the same
Boat
Liz, there is always a chance. Don’t wait for him though and instead do something about it. The longer a woman waits, the more difficult it becomes for him to believe you want him back. He has to like anyone else, sees and hears you want him back
Gemeni man, your comment makes not sense like most Gemini men. My experience with them so far proves them to be idiotic, manipulative, little brats. Who needs thier crap?Good riddance.
ya Ya… Looks like all the gemini man are stupid. As a gemini I can tell we love from our heart. When we love someone we made them like a queen in the world. But we only broke up when we find that our love women consider as our weakness. By the way I have been dating an aquarius women for 1 year and I did everything to make her happy. And finally I ended up with a broken heart. All I know among all the people gemini people get most hurt from a breakup.
Hi road_side! Thank you for your input as a Gemini man. I agree with you, all Gemini men are not bad or evil. What some women seem to be missing is that everyone has all 12 signs in their birth chart which means they also have Gemini in them. Also, moon signs, rising signs, etc all play a role in someone’s personality. There is much for women to learn and I think this is where my book “Gemini Man Secrets” can help them understand the sign better so they don’t cast them off.
Hi Liz! Without knowing your whole story with the Gemini man, it’s hard to tell you that you have no chance honey. NOTHING is ever impossible. I think perhaps it would benefit you from reading my book on Gemini man. It may help you understand him better, what you can do to work at getting him back if there IS a chance, and what would be the right way to approach him. There are things you can do, you are not helpless. Only give up if it seems that he is 100% done. Is that what your gut tells you? You’ve to got to trust your intuition, not a worry or sadness.
Ladies Ladies
So I’m so confused, all last week and all last month even Saturday my ex was loving and texting me all the time he needed me and wants me . We were always messing around joking and when it came to conflict we got better as a couple and talked it out and went on with our day goofing around. Saturday he went to drill and was texting me all regular ( babe , I miss my baby with hearts , I love you and etc) when he gets back from drill he loves up in me and we go to the gym work out kiss and hug here and there. We later went to eat taking about our vacation days and joking around. We got home and called his parents and we’re taking funny pictures. Comes Sunday morning he looks at me and I smile at him when I wake up he later cry’s and sits next to me and tell me he doesn’t want to be with me. Of course I’m a great break moment and asking him what was wrong and he wanted me to leave to I did what he wanted. But im soooo confused !!! He said to me when I was packing where do we stand , if he could help me pack and that he would check up on me. When I was walking out the door he looked at me depressed and he wanted a hug I didn’t want to but I did and left. He says he needs to work on himself and I’m talking to his family and they tell me it’s normal because he did this is his past relationships. He would end it then come back. Now yesterday I went to give him a bear flowers and chocolates and he didn’t have no emotions and nothing for nobody so I was thinking this was his other side in control so now what do i do.
Hi Kimberly! Thank you for writing about your confusing Gemini man situation. It does indeed sound normal for this guy to go back and forth. The thing is his relationships in the past ended for a common reason that which being him and not being sure of what he wants or who he is. Until he figures himself out and what he wants in life, he’s going to keep repeating this pattern. The best thing you can do is give him some time and space. If he truly cares for you and wants to be with you, he will chase you down. If he doesn’t then you won’t hear from him and you’ll know for sure. If you’d like to learn more about the confusing Gemini guy, you might want to check out my book “Gemini Man Secrets”.
It is confusing with this gemini man he was texting every day and now it’s every once a wk or twice a wk. He sent nice messages and some of them were sexual but when I went out of town it was fine sent a message have a safe trip and he wanted me to pics which was before I went out of town so I get there I find out my camera on my phone stop working and I couldn’t send them to him and it went down hill from there. I have been knowing him for about 4 yrs we lost touch we have never been out yet we talk but not like b4 my trip so i guess I could run but idk what to do
Hi Bev! It may be that your Gemini guy is interested in a physical relationship with you but maybe not a committed relationship. However, you won’t know what he truly wants unless you ask him. Tell him you really dig him and you’d like to get together to see if there is a future bond between you two or not. He should let you know by how he acts as far as if he’s interested or not. If he blows you off then you may need to just move forward with your own path. If he does respond and tries to make an effort then you can proceed. It may help you to check out my book “Gemini Man Secrets”.
hi, im an gemini man 25 years, i just broke off with my girl becuz i can’t stand all the emotions. i must say this is creepy correct. from high school to now all the points check out, i even feelt so bad i went to see her and told her how much i miss her and regret breaking up and that i wanted her back.
Hi Chris! I think many women misunderstand the Gemini man and this causes their confusion to make them act overly emotional, angry, and even resentful. It’s important for women to really get to know Gemini before they cast them off. If you’re able to get her back, you might want to share my book with her so that she’ll understand you a bit better. It may help! “Gemini Man Secrets”.
Hi. The gemini man I was with had broke it off with me a couple of weeks ago. I am a sagittarius female.
We had previously broken up a couple of times while being together. Before I realized that I just came back to him, not understanding why he left me and I begged for him back. Foolish of me to let my emotions get the best of me… placing no value into myself whatsoever.
In our time of separation, I have come to realize that I do have value and am currently working on myself to win back my Gemini. However, I am giving him his space. A few things that I realize I was in the relationship that turned off my Gemini. I was overly controlling, possessive, and demanded time from him all the time.
I just want to know, I read that when a gemini breaks it off he is “DONE” but he has broken it off with me a couple of times, due to not knowing what to do with our relationship. That being said, in this time, I have rebuilt myself. I have watched several instructional videos and gone to therapy to relieve myself from this unwanted nature I had. I became emotionally co-dependent and I would like to know if there is still some kind of chance. Thanks!
Hi Nev!
Wow, I’m glad to hear you realized your own personal problems and took actions to heal that. Yes, smothering him or controlling him is a no no. Now that you’ve worked on yourself, you may still have a chance. Given that you two have done it a few times already shows he still cares for you and that means that they aren’t always “done” unless they didn’t really truly care. In your case I think he might. You’ll need to reach out to him and prove to him that you realized what was wrong and worked on yourself so that it wouldn’t happen again. I wish you all the very best!
Hello Dear Anna,
I started talking to Gemini man about 2 months ago and everything started so great. The energy, the conversation, the jokes and we both are from same culture. We were texting and doing phone calls like daily and very positive. He started flirting sexually early but in a polite way and I liked that too. We met for the first time 3 weeks ago and it was incredibly great and exiting and we had such a great time. We did have lots of talk about everything and yes, we did sleep together. I knew that it would make me get more attached to him but I was not regretting it. He broke up in a week after giving me the reason that my personality type is same as his x and he doesn’t think we are a good match. I accepted it and wished him a good luck, but we stayed normal friends. Less texting and calls. We became close again after I sent him a picture of me on a BD party. We started same routine on texting and callings. I drove to his town the other day to visit a place and surprise him. I sent him a text that I’m in your town and he got angry and said to me that I invaded his privacy and did something which is not normal at all. I did not think about it like that at all. He broke up and he blocked me from phone/WhatsApp & IG. Do I have a chance to have him back? I did try my best to read about his sign and was giving him the space he needed, and he liked that, but he left me because of that surprise.
Dear Zara,
One thing I would say is that if the breakup is fresh, it would be best to give him some time and space to figure things out, re-calibrate, and understand his emotions. Try not to contact him because it can be overwhelming.
This can increase the chances of returning to you sooner rather than later. It is vital that he finds out what he is missing! I wouldn’t be surprised if he unblocks you in a week or two. Take a step back, breathe, and don’t assume that your Gemini man has any idea that you’re all worked up and worried! He truly might just be digging into a new project, as he tends to do.
He can be a bit absent-minded that way. If you speak openly and calmly, he will let you know where he stands, but if you’re emotional and not direct, he won’t understand why.
Well there’s little or no context on this breakup with a Gemini, but here are a few assumptions and solutions
1. If you just started dating the Gemini man he is curious about you and what value you bring to his life. (Keep conversations light, be positive, flirt and inquire about his interests and passions) he is a mirror to you so what you get is what you give, if you talk about past relationships the gemini man will listen intently to pick up on who did what and why your previous relationships ended. This is to gain insight on how you would handle a relationship with him, if you have changed or still are the same person.
2. If you get into arguments with a gemini take a step back and evaluate what the gemini is trying to say without being defensive, the Gemini will test you on how you handle your past, problems and concerns. The Gemini instinctively can see the good and bad to any situation so if you stick around too much in negativity he will consider this your modus operandi and choose to avoid bringing negativity and drama to his life. You might get attention from guys by making them jealous or creating drama but this has a reverse effect on the Gemini. We see through that unfortunately and are figuring out why you are using drama and negativity to get attention from a gem.
3. If you just aren’t into the gemini man be direct with him (Geminis never want to be the cause of pain or heartache, we may give you tough love to avoid being a victim of negative emotions or try to get you to develop a thicker skin but the last thing we would do is try to hurt you)
4. If you are considering a breakup, Make the breakup a game. We love games. Tell the Gemini man you want to evaluate the relationship and get him to write his thoughts and you do the same. (10 things you like and dislike about the relationship) exchange those notes and evaluate if it is worth pursuing. Trust me this works 100% because us Geminis like to learn. Be honest about how you feel about the relationship. If you still want to pursue tell him how valuable his insight was and he would value yours
5. Don’t Run, walk away gracefully. If things aren’t working out have the courage to walk away like adults without trying to bruise each others egos. Any attempt you make trying to create a disliking bias towards a Gemini will only cause you more pain and heartache in future relationships.
Ladies. This post helped me a lot. Each and every word in this post is TRUE. My ex was a Gemini. Luckily, I read this post in time and kicked him off from my life. He did all the things written in this post. While he was cheating on me parallelly he was searching a girl of his parents choice to marry. He disappeared and appeared again. Finally , I blocked him everywhere in social media when I was confirmed he finalized a girl for himself to marry her. Before he could tell me about this new girl in his life I blocked him everywhere. He didn’t expect this move of mine.Within a month he got married. He is having a happy married life today but he devastated my life.
Be careful ladies when it comes to Gemini man. They are real manipulators and cheaters.
Hi Svetlana!
I’m very saddened to hear that you’ve gone through this. I need to tell you though that not all Gemini men are like this. It sounds like he has a cultural belief that tells him he has to be married to a certain woman or type of woman which meant he wasn’t going to choose you. He has to do what his family wants or they may shun him. Try to find someone who is your speed and will give you everything you could ever dream of. He’s out there honey! Don’t give up.
Hi
Can i still get a gemini ex boyfriend back after 7 months of no communication from him. He’s broken up with me 2x in a short time frame. he told a friend last july 2019 he loved and wanted me back . I didn’t respond we..he requested a meeting in August 2019 i agreed he was angry and constantly checking his phone through this meeting he then got angry and stated he changed his mind about wanting the relationship back. In October 2019 we talked again as friends until november we had an argument i was hurt bc he said he might see other ppl eventually and he didn’t know how to protect my feelings . I stopped talking to him even when he called texted 2x after. We saw each other 2 months ago and neither of us spoke. He has not reached out in 7 months i still cry about him and love him deeply. I have been thinking about reaching out. Is it too late to get him back ..i don’t know if i can fix this?..please help
NEVER.AGAIN.
So my Gemini man and I broke up. He told me the reason was because I intentionally tried to hurt him. I told him I was sorry but yes I did try and hurt him but what I said never hurt him. He’s mad at the fact I tried to hurt him. How do I get him back? He told me that he can’t be with someone who would do that. I told him that if he was to give me a second chance do he honestly believe that I’ll do it again? I told him I am human and that I make misused this was a big one. I don’t know what to do can you please help me. We still talk and he told me he still is in love with me but he don’t see us getting back together. I don’t want him to fall out of love with me. Or move so what do I have to do to make him want me back? I told him that I was going to reflect on the situation and that I’ll give him a call back. His own mom told him that females hurt you because they want you to feel how they feel and he still don’t agree. So what can I do to change his mind? I feel like I need to hard core stuff to get him back. I think he wants to be with me but him thinking about what happened and how you can treat someone you love like that it’s not okay. I told him to think about the year we’ve been together and how I never did anything like this and I won’t do it again. I’m not trying to beg him but I honestly feel like I should get another chance.
Hi Seidaria!
Oh dear. Gemini definitely doesn’t it like it when someone purposefully tries to hurt them or make them jealous. They think this is a form of betrayal. You’re going to have to apologize for what happened and promise him it will never happen again. Then you have to ask him to try again with you and let you show him that you mean what you say. It will take time for him to come around as far as that trust goes. Ask him what else it is that he doesn’t like about you so that you can work with it and see if it’s something that can be changed or if it’s the true you that cannot conform to his ways. Do what is ultimately best for you sweetheart.
Hey I’m trying to get my Gemini man back. We broke up because I tried to intentionally hurt him. But I didn’t hurt him if that makes since. He’s mad at me because the fact that I thought about hurting him and he said you don’t do that to the people you love and I told him I was sorry. He said he’s still in love with me but he don’t see himself being with someone who would do that. His mom even told him that females do that. I told him if we get back together does he really think I’m going to do it again? I’m still human and I’m still learning I feel like instead of ending our relationship we could’ve talked about it and he could’ve told me I don’t like that this can’t happen again because you honestly hurt me by even thinking it. What should I do to fix this?
Hi And,
It appears that I’ve already answered you sweetheart. Be strong! You’ve got this.
Hi Anna.
My Gemini man reached out to me for a while before I responded to him. I was very leary of him initially. We begin frequently communicating on FB. FB is used because he says his S/O found phone numbers on their cell phone bill that led to some issues. He disclosed that he had cheated on her and she had caught him twice in a 6 month period. They have one adult son. They were not always together but reunited about 15 years ago. My Gemini man says he is frustrated because the union is sexless with his S/O. He says she won’t even talk about sex. If he tries to initiate it she gets furious. He says he asked her to marry him 3 times and she has not. He says he no longer wants to marry her and will never ask her to marry him again. My friend says he feels comfortable with me. He’s attracted to me physically. He always asks me to come to meet him when he’s off work. We meet in the same parking lot and just talk and spend time in each other’s presence. I really like him. I feel he really likes me too. The issue…..He has relatives and a lot of friends in the town I live in because he is from the same town. We know many of the same people. He has concerns someone will see him and therefore wants me to come to him. I have several times. We made plans to meet up when he had to travel for a job. I traveled 3 hours to meet him. Since then we talked sometimes 5 to 6 hours a day or an hour or 2 at a time. We just talk about some of everything and hang out with each other. I have given him money on 2 occasions to help him out when he was in need. I begin feeling like everything was one-sided. And I got in my feelings because I asked him to come to my home for a change. He would be safe here. But he refused. So he asked me to come to meet him and I refused. He called 2 more times and asked me to come and I decided to go. I was dressed nicely. When I got there we were glad to see each other. We embraced and stood outside of the car and talked. I was pacing a lot because I was still upset about him wanting me to come there and him not wanting to come to me. I wasn’t displaying anger. But when he TOLD me he wanted me to come to meet him the next day….I did not scream but the look on my face let him know that I was hurt and offended. I told him I felt the situation was one-sided and I did not want that and it would be the last time I would come there to meet him. He was upset and he said I can’t believe you came here to break it off with me. I didn’t comment. I asked for a hug so I could go and he said no several times while looking into my eyes. I kept looking away. I asked for a hug and he held onto me for 5 minutes. I tried to move back several times but he just held onto me. A full embrace. Before I left he looked me in the eyes and kissed me on my lips and on my forehead. He opened my door and I got in and drove off. He was looking at me as I drove off. I have not called him and he has not called me. It has been 6 days now. Is it over or is there a chance he will at least be fair in this situation? He does not know what he wants to do about his home situation. He says he feels he has gotten comfortable and feels he needs to be in a better place to take care of himself and therefore does not want to risk losing where he lays his head. Was I wrong?
I’ve been seeing a Gemini man for 6 months and we both established it was casual. He and I both came out of long term relationships. We would text everyday and be intimate. I began to develop feelings and told him we need to either stay platonic friends or just hook up buddies. He said he liked it the way it was and immediately responded with “I can’t commit to a relationship”. I said “booty calls then?” And he agreed, but continued to text everyday. Eventually I had to nicely distance myself and was honest it was because I was falling for him. He said to me he also was but it’s complicated. Since then his messaged me flirty texts and I responded but then didn’t. Then he sent me a long paragraph telling me he wants to be honest because he respects me that he has moved on to dating someone but it’s not serious. I wished him well and thanked him for our time together. He then blocked me but next day unblocked and texted that i’d helped him through the toughest year of his life and that he appreciates me and would like to meet up once more in person for a chat just as friends. I responded he did the same for me and that I’d be open to chatting as friends. I’m trying to act cool and positive but am so confused as to how intent. He said he will always be there if I want to chat about anything… Is he just trying to clear his conscience? Why did he need to mention he was dating someone else?
Dear Lisa,
Because he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship and h thinks that you want to commit even though this was not previously arranged.
A woman releases oxytocin whenever she has sex. A man releases oxytocin if he is in love with the woman. It is an evolutionary mechanism, but it explains that if a woman sleeps with a man enough times, she will start falling in love, but for a man, it is not necessarily going to happen. That is the basis of so many relationship issues. You’ve heard it before: ‘Let’s keep it casual’. The woman is thinking: at some point, he is going to change his mind, and we are going to be in the relationship’, but if that’s what the guy’s told you from the start, physiologically, chemically, it’s not going to change for him.
My point is if he agrees from the start to have a sexual relationship, it will not grow into a real, exclusive relationship, while, for you, this will happen, so it is essential to synchronize your and his needs and wants.